The really big fish in my aquarium

As a preface to my "Unloading in Sweden" I want to tell you the story of the really big fish I discovered in my aquarium this morning. Now this is not a typical fisherman's exaggeration, but my dream. I mean the fish I found in my 110 liter aquarium early this morning was not just some overgrown algae eater, but a huge toothless pike. No kidding. I discovered IT when I went to feed the little school of Cardinal tetra that makes itself at home in my otherwise neglected aquarium. I am sure IT was a big pike because...
...gotta run now but promise to tell you more when I'm back.

I'm back now. Where was I when I had to run out to sing? Oh yes, I had just sprinkled a pinch of dry fish feed over the surface of my tank, when I caught sight of IT. At first I couldn't tell what IT was. Then I saw the gluttonous gullet, the opening to the depths (1.5 foot) of my aquarium. At first I thought IT was smiling at me, above two big pearly black eyes. Then, startled by the power of its suction, I could see that it was so eager for my flakes that it might be dangerous. As I backed off, IT sucked itself up into the air - like a pool vacuum cleaner that has hit the surface and flipped out - and landed with a kerplop on the oak parkett floor below.
Somehow I felt sorry for IT, this fish out of water. At the same time I was disgusted by its big, slimy and unwieldy body. How had IT survived as long as IT did in my aquarium, and without eating the school of Cardinal tetra? How come I hadn't even noticed it before? Were the plants so overgrown and the algae so thick that IT was able to hide on the bottom? Why did IT all of a sudden get such a craving for dry fish feed? Was IT preparing itself to meet the kiss of death?
...gotta run, but believe me there's more to tell about IT when I get back.

I'm back now. So many questions, but when I looked at IT I thought to myself: 'now you got yourself into this (the aquarium), and you got yourself out (of the aquarium)'. So where do we go from here? And then I walked out of the room, letting HER lie there until I woke up. I had overslept by a long shot.
...gotta run...

Back again. I didn't mention that I felt guilty about leaving her on the floor to die, but I knew I couldn't continue to feed her. I also knew that she had definitely outgrown my aquarium (as well as any other nearby, i.e. close enough to keep her alive during the transport, body of water where she might survive a while longer). Furthermore, she seemed too big and too slimy to hold onto. So many thoughts run through my little head in such a short period of time. What was the underlying significance of this chain of events if not that:
- She/it was someone/something with whom I identify.
- She/it had been a big fish in a very little pond for a long time: Perhaps I am capable of more, at least more than I think, or is it more than this society can appreciate (outgrown my medium) and need to move on. Perhaos I am in a sitatation where things can't get better?
- What does the aquarium represent? my bed (sleep), my job, my percpetion of my own capabilities/turf, the Swedish society?
- What does the jump represent? why get up (from bed), why leave my current job?, why leave Sweden?

I could of course continue to lie in bed, though I can't expect anyone to support or take care of me and am likely to lie/die there in bed.
I could jump out of bed, without expecting salvation, and die soon.

Hmm. I tried to tell this story to a couple of colleagues in the office, but I don't think they appreciated it. Do I?

Are you an asset or a burden?

THE SLOPE OF AN ASSET , note the peak (and the blood, sweat and tears on the forehead) which occurs in this diagram at an age that is equivalent to a mid-life crisis for the average adult.
Society can view us as strong as Pipi Longstockings or...


...intriniscally prone to be lazy.
THE SLOPE OF A BURDEN, note falling out around the "ass-et", i.e. mid-life, and peaks as babies and seniors.

Down by the Riverside

Gonna lay down my burdens...down by the riverside.
About how European societies in general (and Swedish society in particular?) view human beings.
About the process of transforming a human asset into a burden.
What you always wanted to know and never dared to ask.
Why social democracy has lost its credibility and sincerity.
Some of the topics to be covered by this blog include personal experiences:
- as an immigrant (e.g. dealing with prejudice, both negative and positive stigma)
- as an employee and manager of a medium-sized biotech company prior to going public (e.g. dangers of going public)
- as the owner of a small incorporated company (e.g. workload, insecurity, attitudes of customers, tax authorities etc.)
- as an employee in a major Swedish company (e.g. dealing with bureaucracy, harrassment, unions, layoffs etc.)
- as an unemployed person (e.g. dealing with AMS and unions)
- as a sick person (e.g. dealing with healthcare and public health insurance)